Top Hats and Madness
by rwbybomb21
Summary: A new student enters the fray of Beacon- and she may just drive everyone around her mad. So why, when everyone else is wary, does Pyrrha not shy away? One shot introduction to my OC, Alice.
**OC. DESCRIPTION. ON. PROFILE.**

 **Also, an author relatively new to writing has created an OC that is linked to my own OC- look them up and see what you think of their new story 'Cheshire Smile'. It's worth helping the author along, neh? The author's name is Psykotic101, so give 'em a look-see.**

 **Now enjoy, and I don't own RWBY...for whatever reason, I mean, I'm nice enough for them to let me own it, right? I mean...ha, right?...guys?**

 **(Edited the disclaimer because it was 'too harsh'. Pfft. Anyway, enjoy...I guess...I think?)**

 **(^^^^^^)**

"You look distracted Miss Nikos; is something amiss?"

Green eyes shot upwards from their drooping state to look at the bespectacled man sat opposite her, grey hair set in that always-gravity defying hairdo many wondered about. His dark forest green suit kept neat and tidy as always, but with the exception of what seemed to be a spatter of soot, likely either from an explosion of some sort, or he just fell down a chimney.

She was inclined towards her first theory, unless Ozpin was the new Santa Claws; the question was what _kind_ of explosion? And another was _when_ did it happen? He looked fine a mere day ago, not a hair out of place. Now he seemed as Pyrrha herself did; tired, annoyed and, above all else, held in suspense over something, as if expecting something to magically happen overnight. Looking at the mountain of work and stacks of paper on his desk, she figured that was _exactly_ what he was wishing away. She'd had her fair share of paperwork to accomplish, and Pyrrha could say that without a doubt, it was horrific- the worst kind of torture that she'd never wish upon anyone.

"Oh, I'm fine!" Not a lie, she thought. She'd never lie, and half-truths weren't technically lies, were they? "I suppose I'm just tired; training Jaune in proper swordsmanship has been..." she waved her left hand around in a circle motion, trying to find the right wording for the situation without seeming upset or angered. Or frustrated, which is what she was at the pace of Jaune's learning; right now he was at a steep curve of disappointment and failure in most of his tests, academic grades had slipped, and he's slowly, _very_ slowly, learning to fight. But that was the issue, it was coming along slower than she'd have liked, and she'd have liked if it took as slow as four or five months. No, it has taken, up to now, a total of seven months, most of their first school year. The tournament was coming up and the fiasco with Blake had just died down. She did _not_ need to be teaching him last minute.

Leaning inwards slightly, a silver eyebrow rose above the spectacles that were a constant upon his face. Ozpin decided to help the young Spartan-like teen out, fixing together her sentence and finding the most suitable word for the ending of it, if only to move the conversation past this as quickly as possible. "Difficult, perhaps...?" his words ended in the form of a question, inquiring whether he'd found the right word. With the way her head jilted to the side slightly, he'd 'hit the nail right on the head', as it were.

Pyrrha nodded, her red ponytail bobbing up and down slightly. "You see...he's improving, he really is, but it's becoming somewhat...of an inconvenience, I suppose." Frustration at the situation had finally reared its head, and Pyrrha slumped in her seat, perking slightly when she heard Ozpin talk.

He sipped his coffee, a puzzled look upon his face before he smiled. "I see. Would you rather a professional train him, someone else suited for it while you relax?"

"While I would like to-"

"-you would." He interjected. "I think you'd rather relaxation, especially considering we have a...person in common, yes?" he placed down his mug atop his wooden desk, sitting with his hands folded into each other and his glasses slipping to the bridge of his nose, to which he pushed up with his left index finger. "I understand you two are in an oddly Intriguing relationship, and with her just recently leaving the field of hunting to return to Beacon as a substitute for Professor Peach."

Pyrrha's eyes widened. "You mean Alice is coming here?" she sounded quite excited; it's not every day that a sixteen year old becomes a substitute teacher, much less someone such as Alice. Plus, Pyrrha reckoned, she had a vested interest in this anyway, if not for her _knowing_ _of_ Alice, then because she _knows_ Alice; she'd been romantically involved with her since she was twelve and Alice was eleven, but they'd practically grew up with each other, and were friends far before that.

But of course, as he created a knowing look, Ozpin knew about _all_ of that. "You sound excited, Miss Nikos." He pointed out, hoping the knowing tone that he used would get picked up upon by his star pupil.

It was. "W-Well...I suppose it would be quite grand!" She seemed to be reigning in her excitement, but he could tell it was only stewing in a small pot, ready overflow and explode as soon as she reached less respectable company; her teammates would wonder why she was so enthused, but perhaps he should focus on the task at hand, not her team's reactions. To whom she was excited about, for example, was a rather intriguing topic.

"May I ask why?" when he saw the blush and heard the stuttering mess she had become, he regretted asking such a personal question that was as obvious as the green in his suit. "My apologies. I believe I understand anyway. Run along now, Miss Nikos."

As she stood, somewhat speedily walking towards the door, she turned her head over her shoulder somewhat nervously. "Can I ask one more thing, sir?"

He sipped his coffee calmly, looking at her from just above the rim of his cup. "She will be here in a half hour or so; I've told her where your dorm is, so I suggest you hurry along." His tone was full of mirth at the situation that he had placed Pyrrha in; an upset Alice was a sad Alice, and a sad Alice was...well...the soot still on his suit testified as to why, exactly, you should _always_ keep Alice happy. Pyrrha was the only way he knew how to achieve such a seeming impossibility.

She hurried along the corridors, shoving past the waiting team RWBY and Jaune, who she rushed out. "ProfessorOzpinwantstoseeyounowIhopeitgoeswellgoodluck!"

Yang, well versed in Ruby's speed talking, but a bit confused by it coming from Pyrrha, looked at Jaune, pointed her thumb at Ozpin's door, and shouted "Good luck Vomit Boy!"

But that didn't matter to Pyrrha, no; the sheer idea of Alice being here was as thrilling as it was a need. She needed Alice right now, to know she's okay, to know she's alright and not locked up or dead somewhere.

She almost fumbled with the key card to her dorm room, opening the door in a hurry to almost fall over a pair of black and white suitcases. Stumbling around, now knowing that Alice was here, she turned the corner to see a familiar black haired girl, top hat titled in her head at that impossible angle that never seemed to fall off, ninjato sheathed and hanging on her upper back...Alice.

The girl in question was switching her head from left to right, muttering some incomprehensible nonsense while staring at the shared dorm kitchen ceiling.

"This place needs some decorations! Rabbits, top hats, daisies, oooh! It needs...PINK!" Alice threw her hands to the sides, outwards as if she had just come up with some grand explanation for everything wrong with the universe. "It needs pink!" she turned her head when she heard a soft gasp and a small giggle, only to see the reason she was even here in the first place. Right now she'd be having her complimentary tea with Allen, but Pyrrha was first priority to everything! Well...not _everything_...but everything! "It needs pink in this dorm room, Pyrrha! How have you survived this awful place without me and my helpful tips!?"

Pyrrha simply shook her head from left to right, sighing as Alice grinned her Cheshire-Cat grin. "It's quite the mystery, indeed." Pyrrha walked slowly over and stood next to Alice, who was holding her thumbs and pointer fingers on both hands, as if forming them in front of her squinted left eye and closed right one to make a camera of sorts. Pyrrha looked at the same Area Alice was looking at- their kitchen- and did the same, a small smile on her face. "You know..." she said with pure honesty.

"It might look good with some pink in there."

She turned her head when Alice made a squealing sound, but in a blur she was tackled to the ground by the girl. Alice had a grin a mile wide on her face, before exclaiming with two hands thrust into the air. "I win!" Her hat was slipping off of her head, but she instantly corrected it with a flick of her fingers at the edge of said hat.

Pyrrha simply giggled at Alice's commonplace antics before leaning up and pecking the girl on the cheek. "Yes, you do."

(^^^^^^)

It's been about a week with Alice in their dorm, and Jaune could say with utter honesty that she was completely mad. Insane, wacky, bonkers, a nut job, the list could go on, but instead he had more pressing concerns right now.

Such as Alice herself, and the question of how to introduce their teammate's insane girlfriend to team RWBY, who he and Ren were currently stood in front of, both sweating deeply.

Yang stared with a small grin on her face. "Something you wanted to tell us, Jauney boy?"

Weiss looked at him a little sourly. "You're not going to ask me out again, are you? Because the answer is and always will be no."

Yang frowned. "Cold, Weiss, cold."

"...isn't he supposed to be telling us something?" Ruby supplied the fighting teammates somewhat nervously, only because she'd woken up literally a minute ago and hadn't slept very well the night before. Something to do with the eradication of all cookie-kind and her becoming the new queen of cookie-land, only to get assassinated by the evil cake queen...or something along those lines.

"Correct; Jaune, you had something to say?" Blake looked at Jaune with her impassive face, but as soon as he said the next four words, she became intrigued and invested into this conversation now, instead of ignoring everything that didn't involve her.

"We have a new teammate!" Jaune all but exclaimed, as if it were something hard to force out. Hell, who could blame him? Alice wasn't the greatest to be around.

Ruby's once drooping with sleep eyes shot open wide, excitement coursing through her very being. "Really!? Who is he? Is it a he? Who is she? What do they look like? Can we meet them?" Before she could continue, Yang shot a hand over her mouth to prevent more questions from flying out, and Jaune, as well as the rest of team RWBY, silently thanked her. Ruby may be cute, but her rambling could be...annoying.

He heard Pyrrha's small giggle and an oddly familiar insane yet soft voice sound out from around the corner to where they were. "-And then I leapt off of the fifty story building and landed on my feet! A day later I went parasailing with Peter, but he's so bad at it! Oh, oooh, we also skydived! Off of the Vale Banking Building!"

"Oh, come on Alice, you did _not_ do that."

Alice simply grinned wider, her Cheshire smile never going away as she used the sheathed Peter, her sword, as a cane, her footsteps and the end of the sheathed weapon clicking against the ground. "But how cool would that have been!? It would have been better than that time with Allen when I threw my hat at him and realised it was Peter! Or was it Robert…? Nah, it was Peter, I'm sure of it!"

Alice then placed her hand under her chin, rubbing it and unintentionally looking all the part of a criminal mastermind. "Or…maybe it was Vi-Vi? Oh Vi-Vi, I miss you and your silly hat…"

Pyrrha supplied Alice with a chuckle and a shake of her head, before turning the corner to see the group of six staring at her. "Ah, hello there team RWBY; Jaune, Ren."

"Hey guys." RWBY sounded out almost together, before they spotted who, exactly, the person that Pyrrha was next to. "Is this the new girl?"

Alice rounded her head to Yang, who was staring at her with a neutral line on her face. "Name's Alice, Blondie; but you can call me...wait, Pyrrha, Pyrrha, where's my hat?" Alice began tapping her head to find her black top hat somewhat panicked, but Pyrrha simply shook her head and lifted it off of the girl's head, showing Alice the hat that she was looking for.

"It was on your head, Alice." Pyrrha's voice indicated she'd expected this from her, and the entire team plus two stared on as she gently placed it back on Alice's head, before the girl in question tilted it at an almost impossible angle, the hat sitting almost vertically.

Alice spun around and planted a kiss on Pyrrha's waiting lips, before grinning massively. "Thank you my Pyrrha, Pyrrha!"

Pyrrha simply shook her head with a grin. "Anytime Alice."

Ruby squealed; this Alice girl was funny, but just the right amount of crazy! It was almost cute as well, the way Pyrrha completely disregarded her insanity and saw past it all. It was all very romantic. Blake found herself thinking the same thing, her mind straying to how Pyrrha and Alice had that clichéd romance where love overcame something that an extremely rare amount of people would overlook. It made her curious though as to how it all happened - she did not believe Pyrrha would be the one to fall straight in love for someone like she'd seen written in poorly constructed novels and internet stories.

Weiss frowned; this girl was definitely insane, but it seems that her good friend- and fellow rich girl- Pyrrha was romantically entangled with her. Weiss had honestly thought that Pyrrha was pining after Jaune, and seeing this untrue confused her greatly; evidently it was also clear to her that Alice loved the colour scheme of black and white, something that she and Weiss had in common at least.

Yang had one thought on the new girl; _'this chick is awesome!'_ She had instant respect the minute she saw Alice walk around the corner with Pyrrha. She was smiling, swinging hips in a non-seductive way but it still looked sexy as hell. She'd seen Alice using her sheath for some sort of sword as a cane, and she instantly thought that was cool.

"Say; Alice, was it?"

Alice in question turned her head to see Yang again, the girl who had called her a new girl; how rude! But this girl intrigued her, so why not listen to her? Bah! Since when did Alice ever listen!?

"Yes, Blondie, Blondie?"

"I saw your sheath and wondered...do you have any other weapons?" she was only inquiring because Yang only noticed that the sheath, and presumably the sword inside, were only single-shifting weapons- meaning they didn't shift to anything that was ranged, such as a gun. Did the girl have any other weapons on her person?

Alice's eyes lit up, and she opened her jacket slightly, throwing a hand in and pulling out a grenade.

Ruby thought it was odd that she carried grenades- live grenades- in her pocket, but thought little of it. her eyes then widened...didn't grenades have pins!?

Yang liked this because...well, it's Yang. Yang Xiao Long liked anything resembling an explosive- came with using gauntlets with explosive rounds, and a semblance that could explode. She walked over to Alice, threw a hand over her shoulders, and gently nudged her in the direction of the RWBY dorm, Blake following after to ask about the sword and how good the insane girl was with it. Weiss followed shortly after, for the same reason, and Pyrrha followed out of obligation.

The last thing Ren and Jaune heard was Yang asking Alice. "So, you like explosions? You're my new best friend now."

And then the door shut, Ren and Jaune standing outside completely unknowing of what to do.

They shivered when they heard Alice's laughter from the other side, and shivered even more when they heard Yang and a somewhat quieter Blake and Pyrrha join a second later.

If all of those liked Alice, then JNPR was in for a very interesting year.


End file.
